Put your feet up

It’s been quite busy around here. There’s still some boxes to unpack after the move, but then, there’s always some boxes to unpack it seems that one never quite get around to. Chris ended up in hospital on the 6th with swelling of his temporal artery and is experiencing the frustrating delays and waiting times the NHS is renowned for. He was released with a note and urgent referral to a neurologist which “should come through within 2-3 days”; almost two weeks later and the hospital’s response is still “you’re in the system, you’ll receive an appointment when we get to you”. In excruciating pain and unable to return to work, it’s a rather frustrating wait and not knowing isn’t helping with the instruction of go home, relax, whatever you do don’t get stressed and try not to do anything as movement triggers and aggravates the attacks of neurological pain he’s getting. Wonderful.

Rem’s been here for the summer and now that he’s gone back, I still find myself dislocating a joint and saying “could you put it back in for me please”, then realizing it’s again a do-it-yourself job. Reducing dislocations is a skill that professionals study years to obtain and most people shy away from ,quite understandably so. It’s extremely rare for me to trust anyone near most of the joint dislocations/partial dislocations that occur every hour or two as doing it wrong can cause quite a bit of damage not to mention additional pain. It was a luxury to have someone around that seem to have a knack for doing it well and I suddenly find myself being overly careful again, worried about moving and getting hurt and not being able to deal with it gracefully. Not that graceful is ever a word that I’d embody.

I’ve employed a new personal assistant/carer who started yesterday. So far so good. It’s difficult getting back into the habit of having a complete stranger bustling around the house and not following her around and trying to assist. Chris is finding it particularly difficult sitting down and relaxing whilst someone else is cleaning and preparing meals. I think most people wistfully imagine having someone around that does things for you, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think letting someone else do the things you feel you should be doing. I don’t think I’ll ever quite adapt to needing someone else to fetch things, carry things, make things, fix things, sort things for me, but it does get easier and I hope it will continue to do so.

It’s been busy and as I wait for things to quiet down, I realize as I usually do, that they don’t really quiet down. New things happen, old things re-immerse and life keeps going at a pace that always feels like it’s just a little bit too fast to maintain. I don’t necessarily dislike that feeling, it can be stressful if you make it so, but it can also be quite exciting. Life happens and time passes and as long as help is there to keep the wheels oiled, all is well.

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