Some days life catches up with me and I sleep too much. I wake up, realize that I’m still tired and sleepy and at first resist. After a day or two of a steadily increasing zombie like existence, I give up and sleep as much as my body desires. I still wake up regularly, but I’m only awake for a little while. I grab a snack and go back to bed, feed the cat and go back to bed, put on more clothes and go back to bed. I wake up cold, thirsty, hungry, hurting ; rectify the situation and then go back to sleep. Sleeping that much sometimes makes me feel as if I never quite wake up and there for quite a few moments in my day where I was almost sure I wasn’t awake at all.
Chris gives up on zombie wife and makes me coffee with caffeine in it. We go to the supermarket. I’m awake and chirpy. We take the wheelchair. I’ve grown accustomed to it over time and prefer the convenience and comfort over the agony and injury that not taking it results in. Chris won’t have to scoop me off the floor, so he’s happy. As we’re making our way down the dairy isle, Chris bursts out laughing. I turn my iPod off and ask what’s so funny. He glances to the left, I look and a little boy is standing behind his mum’s very full trolley peering at my wheels. Apparently as we went by he said something along the lines of ‘look mummy, that poor lady is in a wheelchair’ and his mother, who at that moment caught Chris’ eye, blushed and tried to shush him as quickly and unobtrusively as she could and shepherded him up the isle. I laughed and turned my iPod back on.
There’s a great mountain of disadvantages when your body doesn’t quite work the way its suppose to. There’s so much that you can’t do, so many things that is just that much harder and it’s easy to get caught up in those. But there are also advantages. I have a cinema card that’s effectively a permanent buy-one-get-one-free deal. The disabled parking can be rather handy and convenient. And people’s attitudes and preconceptions can work for you, not just against you. We experimented yesterday. Chris had a trolley and it was rather busy initially and we were rushing a little and he kept getting stuck in isles because people just don’t move out of the way and block the isle on both sides. If I go first on the other hand, it’s like the parting of the Red Sea. People stumble over each other to make twice as much room as I’d need. It’s a nifty trick. Life is very different for me in many ways. But it’s also very much the same. I don’t mind the glances any more, I don’t mind the faulty assumptions, I don’t even mind the pity, it just doesn’t matter. It’s just people, going about their day in their usual way and I’m quite content to just be people too and go about my day in my usual way.