Into the woods

Fog at the forestI have a tendency to dwell on the negative, but the glass is never really empty. The good things about having a migraine headache of the skull-splitting head-bashing variety:

  1. Sensory hypersensitivity is mostly painful, but there’s a certain pleasure in silence, darkness and the scent of rain. I lie on the couch with the curtains drawn over the open patio doors that lead into the garden and it’s a peaceful, quiet, restful place to be.
  2. No guilt for spending a day curled up on the couch and/or in bed. Moving hurts and snuggling with the cat is a legitimate passing of the time.
  3. My imagination is much more vivid on headache days. The Alice in Wonderland sensation extend into my thoughts and conjuring up my favourite places, favourite stories and favourite memories are something I can easily loose myself in.
  4. Life is simple. There’s pain and then there’s less pain. The pain of a migraine happen in waves which is something I am very thankful for. It means that when I curl up into a small bundle and feel like doing anything possible to make it stop, I can rely on the ticking of the clock to make the moment fade into bearable agony.
  5. I feel better after throwing up.
  6. Cool damp cloths for my head and ice-cubes help.
  7. I get to not worry about anything. In this moment in time, nothing matters but getting through the day seventeen seconds at a time. My life is just a chunks of time that I can spend on whatever I like, as long as it’s not too loud or bright or life like.
  8. Comfort may not feel accessible, but somewhere in the back of my head I know that it is. I can ask for company, conversation, a foot rub, a hot bath with a cat perched on the edge dipping a paw into the bubbles. I forget to ask, but it doesn’t make it any less there.
  9. Humour never goes away. There’s always something funny to capture my attention and make me laugh, which hurts my head rather a lot, but I tend to feel better anyway.
  10. There’s always quotes to quote and make life less grave and awful and meaningful. And so my list ends with a favourite bad-day quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.

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