Walked into the kitchen today very smitten with myself for jousting a little and getting it sort of right.
“How did it go?” Chris said whilst starting on dinner.
“Good”, I say, “it went really well,” then thinking for a minute, “except well I dislocated my wrist on the turn and then a few fingers spamming buttons too quickly”.
“That’s good?”, Chris says, “I’m not sure that’s good.”
“It’s fine now, so it’s okay” I say as I absent-mindedly pick up a spatula and stir the rice.
I notice that I am in fact, burning the rice so I move the frying pan off the heat. Click goes my wrist. I drop the pan, brush my hand over the open flame. Wrist has to go in a split and hand underneath a running tap. Standing with my hand under the cold water tap whilst Chris makes sure I don’t faint from standing up for too long, I wonder how that went wrong so quickly. I think about jousting and contemplate the difference. Computer related issues tend to be unpleasant, but both predictably tolerable as it both happens so often and is rarely that big a deal. Twisting my arm can dislocate my wrist, this is similar. Weight on the other hand, is dangerous. It hurts more, does more damage and takes longer to heal. Neither is good, but one is a vast improvement over the other.One is habit, routine and almost fixable. I would say abnormally normal.
Chris sometimes watches me play, I think with a mixture of dread and fascination. I have a habit of putting a dislocated finger in my mouth and pulling it back in whilst still playing with my other hand. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s distracting. But that’s the norm. We took the wheelchair out again today, I’m getting better at both blissful ignorance and staring back. Chris immediately noticed when I dislocated my wrist and took over. I put my wrist back in, made sure my hand was resting in neutral on my lap and thought instead about what a lovely day out it was. It made realize that I sometimes take that for granted. There are some very bad moments, but most of the time, my life isn’t exceptional, it’s just a different kind of normal.