Breathing problems have been the order of the day this week. Ribs aren’t suppose to dislocate, or so emergency docs always say, but when they do, breathing problems take on a whole new dimension and tend to help me get my priorities in order. I have been worrying quite a bit about performance. I want to play well, I want to do well, but I don’t want to sacrifice fun and enjoyment for it. At some point during the last week, I’ve started to worry about raiding rather than look forward to it. I used to love every minute of it, despite being nervous and a little scared over what may go wrong. Thinking about possibly raiding tonight or tomorrow night, I didn’t feel that way today. I felt pressured. I felt as if making a good impression was all important. I realize now that I was wrong.
It is just a game. And as much as I would like the people I play with to like me and like playing with me, and as much as I would like to like them and like playing with them, it’s just as much about the game mechanics as it is about the people. I love playing as part of a team, but I also just love playing. I love every boss fight and I love the lore behind it and I love to turn up the back-ground noise and fish in Grizzly Hills. I don’t want to loose that feeling somewhere along the way whilst staring at feet and health bars. I want to play because I fell in love with my night elf druid on day one and have enjoyed the learning experience every step of the way. I can raid now, yes, but I’m turning off recount until I’m finished for the night.