The back of my wheelchair is being custom made and we’re in the final stretch. I was asked this week what colour I would like it to be – pink, purple, blue, green, grey, black etc I was informed that some of the adolescent boys ask for their football team colours / flag and the very nice lady that handmakes the covers have been known to be creative and supply them with their dream design. I had visions of asking for a companion cube or a turret to be engraved on my black backing, but didn’t think at the age of 32 and 364 days that would go down well. Instead, I asked for a different textile, one that doesn’t absorb pollen and can be wiped down, I was informed that sadly, yes I can have it but it only comes in black or black. I said black is fine.
It made me think about raising a little girl. Everyone seems to have the idea that I’m anti-pink and anti-frill and anti-girly. I’m not. It’s not my personal preference, I was always a tomboy who preferred motorbikes, fishing and action TV shows, but I don’t plan on telling my daughter at any point who she should be. I was adamant about having a neutral coloured nursery, partly because we couldn’t sex her properly and there was a 20% chance that she’d turn out to be a boy and partly because I wanted her surroundings to be neutral. I took both a blue and pink blanket to the hospital and 7 months later, she still sleeps under either the blue or the pink blanket. She has a white hoodie with pink butterflies on it, but green and blue trousers to go with it.
Her toy chest has a good selection across the board and I plan to always keep it that way. I dislike gender stereotyping and I’m relieved to live where I live as I’ve not come across that many adults who succumb to it much. In my house, every one does everything except for Mommy who does what she can. I don’t usually talk about equality, I’m generally of the opinion that making a fuss of something makes an issue out of a non-issue. Reminded of Morgan Freeman’s interview, short excerpt here, that the best way to get rid of racism is to stop talking about it. Still, I think about it some times. I notice toys being marketed according to gender, clothes being sold according to gender and I wonder if Buttons growing up will either feel that she should like pink and purple because its deemed appropriate; that she should start shopping solely in the girls section or something else along those lines. I have faith in the middle ground. We shop in all isles, be buy all sorts of toys and there’s nothing wrong with the colour pink or blue or puke green. It’s just colours. I hope she’ll learn and always remember that.
